Blank Space

—Added the following on Jan 5th,2016—

I couldn’t help but add the following piece to the post. It was too precious to stay in the comments section. Especially at a time like this when you realize kids are  indeed wiser than us – the “adults”. Here is what some of my cousins have written about Vishnu. Truly Amazing.

Badri Srinivasan, Youngest Cousin

When Darkness take-over and
There is only one little ray of hope
I want to cling on to this ray of hope
which are the sweetest memories I had with you

To my dear Vishnu
V – Vivid
I – Intelligent
S – Super Cutie
H – Hilarious
N – Nice
U – Ultimate

Ananth Srinivasan, his elder brother

As the clock ticks on, I realise
Every precious second I spent with you counts like a life-time,
While I breathe in that fragrance of the past,
It dawns on me that, though as humans we have accomplished a lot
and in many ways, we have done the extreme,
But one thing we haven’t conquered is ‘time’ and I sincerely wish we have done that too

When you were with us we were in cloud nine and
Now while the dark clouds are looming large
I am optimistic that a silver lining will emerge

It has not been that easy to move on by shedding tears
Or by crying my heart out because I know
It’s impossible to bring you back
But I know it’s possible to hope for a better future,
Filled with your joyous memories

They tell us to embrace the positive feelings,
But is it that easy to control your emotions when a Hulk is threatening to break out of its cage?
Unlike the fire that died out in my poem, hope and memories never die out,
I hate sad endings so all that I can say for now is:
Good luck on your new journey!

 

Raghav, Cousin brother

he will be born again
first as a butterfly then as a cow and as a baby…

Thank you guys! It’s been such an honor for me to have such amazing guys like you as brothers! No matter the age, you have shown true wisdom earned my respect!

——

Blank Space – Unedited version: Dedicated to my brother and the lives he touched.

As the sadness fills your heart

You look for that tiny ray of hope to hold on to

to cherish and to celebrate the life that was*

At first sight, all you see is darkness

You almost believe that it’s impossible to recover

You feel as if the whole world is on your head

And you cannot stand on your feet any more

The mind refuses to be tamed

The whole world seems to be one big joke

So lame and  so stupid

Like machines have suddenly invaded the planet

Lifeless and loveless

And it almost feels like the end

The end only because, the dear protagonist** is no more.

You don’t expect it, but then the story goes on

In the midst of the hopelessness, you find a tiny spark

At the first sight, it seems ridiculous

You question the whole existence

The Whys the hows and Why nots

A wave of silence gets past you

Feeling dumbfound, you search for answers within

The-what-could’ve-beens  and the-what-ifs transform

in to what-was

You take the first step  – accept

And you find a tiny bit of relief there

But you are still filled with the grief (mounting by the minute)

As if the Death Star*** just destroyed one whole planet

A huge emptiness to fill

Then you take the next step consciously

To celebrate the life that was

The moments that were priceless

The memories that were created

The unwritten songs sing in your head

The untold stories flash in front of you

As if it were real

And you suddenly feel the warmth binding you to the present

You feel whole, light and bright

The experience flips 180 degrees

You cannot but celebrate

You cannot but rejoice

You cannot but cherish

The moments

The love

The life

And you know and you feel

The story is now yours to write!

Where do you wanna start?

 

*of my brother

** From one of my brother’s quotes

Some of the best pieces of work is created when a writer chooses to kill of their dear protagonists.
Here’s to all the characters who v will never see and the writers who ve had the nerve to kill their creations!!

*** StarWars Reference – the last movie he saw on this planet.

 

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21 thoughts on “Blank Space”

  1. i wish i had spent more precious moments with Vishnu
    I was lucky to have him participate in a very happy accasion and every one were wondering who is this handsome boy- An evening i will cherish forever of son and father.
    i was looking forward to more such evenings
    I loved the dinner evening we had last christmas-he liked to eat.
    I liked his very silent character- Is that how he was?
    I was happy he started running
    i thought i will see him more
    As Raghav says he will be born again
    first as a butterfly then as a cow and as a baby…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. he loves good food. Recently found love for running n healthy eating (has lectured me for hrs on it). Would’ve loved to spend more time though. 😐

      Wow, Raghav shld be the big guy here. Such wonderful words from a really young kid!

      Like

  2. Tears veil my eyes n fingers don’t move fast enough to type the gush of emotions from a heart that has been ripped apart. God bless his soul n keep it with him ever n ever. My confidence is he reached Acharyan thuruvadi where we r supposed to rest eternally in bliss, peace n enlightenment. Will share more moments later when I regain my equanimity. Now I understand why Tagore prayed” give me the strength lightly to bear my joys n sorrows”. Loved u alwAys Vishnu. So do I all my nephews n nieces. God bless u all n protect u all.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aparna your passage truly reflects my feelings. Yes the loss is unbearable but I hope there will be days in future where I will start only cherishing his sweet memories and will hold those memories forever.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aparna – Beautifully written! Your words truly reflect the poignant phase we are in. Vishnu is a wonderful boy and his brilliance will always shine in my family’s life.

    Our trip to Chennai is always filled with joy with Vishnu accompanying us to every other place, be it to malls, movies, beach and of course several hotels which we relish together.

    Desperately looking for a time machine to set the clock back to those days and just pause and relive those days

    Liked by 1 person

  5. In Badri Cutti’s words

    When Darkness take-over and
    There is only one little ray of hope
    I want to cling on to this ray of hope
    which are the sweetest memories I had with you

    To my dear Vishnu
    V – Vivid
    I – Intelligent
    S – Super Cutie
    H – Hilarious
    N – Nice
    U – Ultimate

    Like

  6. As the clock ticks on, I realise
    Every precious second I spent with you counts like a life-time,
    While I breathe in that fragrance of the past,
    It dawns on me that, though as humans we have accomplished a lot
    and in many ways, we have done the extreme,
    But one thing we haven’t conquered is ‘time’ and I sincerely wish we have done that too

    When you were with us we were in cloud nine and
    Now while the dark clouds are looming large
    I am optimistic that a silver lining will emerge

    It has not been that easy to move on by shedding tears
    Or by crying my heart out because I know
    It’s impossible to bring you back
    But I know it’s possible to hope for a better future,
    Filled with your joyous memories

    They tell us to embrace the positive feelings,
    But is it that easy to control your emotions when a Hulk is threatening to break out of its cage?
    Unlike the fire that died out in my poem, hope and memories never die out,
    I hate sad endings so all that I can say for now is:
    Good luck on your new journey!

    This poem is dedicated to my cousin/brother, Vishnu.
    By Ananth Srinivasan

    Like

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